I just don’t know, I’m tired!

Bear with me a minute. I’m trying to catch my breath and organize my thoughts because I’m not okay!
I saw a post on Instagram that said, “Racism is not getting worse, it’s getting filmed”. There’s a lot of truth behind that. We’ve seen too much.
My godson once asked me for a toy gun when he was 5 years old and I had to tell him no. Then I had to explain to him why that particular gift is off-limits, “police are killing Black boys (Tamir Rice) for playing with toy guns and they are not being held accountable”. TRAUMA!
Like the time I saw my little brother walking at night with his hood on (Trayvon Martin) and made him get in the car and told him, “don’t do that”. TRAUMA!
Like the times I’ve seen police brutalize Black men and women and use the excuse “resisting arrest”. TRAUMA!
Like the anxiety that runs through every Black person’s body when being pulled over by police. The stress of not knowing if this will be the last face you see (Sandra Bland, Philando Castile). TRAUMA!
Like countless times, white people have weaponized their privilege to cause harm against Black people. TRAUMA!
I have not lived in a country where being Black wasn’t a crime.
I’m tired!
I have no more wishes for this country and how Amerikkka has policed and victimized Black bodies. I only have demands.
Wishes, negotiating, and understanding by Black people have fallen on Amerikkka’s deaf ears time and time again. The promised land of equality is a lot further than we hoped for and as long as we play by their rules we’ll never reach it.
How much longer must we be slaughtered, falsely incriminated, abused, and marginalized before something changes?
No more wishes please, just demands and repercussions.
I’m tired. This is too much & I’m not okay.
The energy is different and it’s been different. The pot is boiling over.